Gen Z fantasizes about both monogamy and kink, Feeld says

Like any other dating app, Feeld isn’t perfect. Feeld users have complained about bugs, fake profiles, and bad behavior. What the “dating app for the curious” has going for it that others don’t, however, is the plethora of kinky and non-monogamous users. This makes it perfect to partner with Indiana University’s sex research center the Kinsey Institute for insights about sex, gender, and kink.

In a new survey of 3,310 Feeld users aged 18 to 77 from 71 different countries (including the U.S., UK, Canada, and the Netherlands), Feeld and Kinsey research fellow Dr. Justin Lehmiller found that Gen Z in particular has both traditional and kinky desires.

Gen Z fantasizes about monogamy…

In another broad sample of people — 4,175 Americans aged 18 to 88 — Lehmiller found that 81 percent of Gen Z reported fantasizing about monogamy, while 44 percent said they fantasized about it often. Gen Z was also least likely to fantasize about being in an open relationship; 62 percent said they’d have that fantasy, and only 18 percent have it often.

For older generations (there wasn’t much difference across boomers, Gen X, and millennials), 71 percent fantasize about monogamy and 23 to 27 percent fantasize about it often. Meanwhile, 75 to 80 percent of these generations have fantasized about an open relationship, with 31 to 32 percent fantasizing about it often.

Among Feeld users (the app calls them “Members”), monogamy was the single most preferred relationship type among Gen Z. For millennials and Gen X, non-monogamy was most preferred, and for boomers, it was friends with benefits.

Feeld and Lehmiller theorized this could be because older adults have more experience with monogamy — and since humans are drawn to novelty, they want something new and fresh. For Gen Z, though, that could very well be a relationship with one person. Many came of age during lockdown, meaning they have less IRL dating experience and are less confident daters. At the same time, Hinge found earlier this year that Gen Z is more “romantically idealistic” than millennials. In the survey of over 4,000 Americans, however, nearly half of Gen Z reported that they were single.

Young people are having less sex, too. In the same survey Lehmiller conducted, the median number of times millennials and Gen X reported having sex in the last month was five. For both Gen Z and boomers, the median was lower: three times. Over a third (37 percent) of Gen Z reported having no sex in the last month, considerably less than 19 percent of millennials and 17 percent of Gen X who reported the same.

…but is also pretty kinky

While they’re fantasizing about more traditional relationship styles (and not having much sex), Gen Z is apparently getting kinkier as well. In Feeld’s survey, Gen Z members were most likely (55 percent) to say they’ve discovered a new kink since getting on the app. That number dropped to 49 percent of millennials, 39 percent of Gen X, and 33 percent of boomer users.

Gen Z was also most likely to report having BDSM fantasies (56 percent) according to data by both Feeld and the Kinsey Institute, compared to 52 percent of millennials, 31 percent of Gen X, and 12 percent of boomers. Feeld contributed this to the proliferation of porn as well as the lack of sex education as a possible reason for this, along with the mainstreaming of kink (like the Fifty Shades series) and less societal kink shaming overall.

More research is needed as to why Gen Z is seemingly kinkier than older generations in some ways, while not actually having much sex. Perhaps it’s not only due to porn but also the wealth of information online about different types of sex, such as on KinkTok. At the same time, it can be difficult to find someone IRL who shares the same desires as you — and also difficult to push through the awkwardness of IRL encounters. Fantasy, however, is easy.

No matter the reason, Feeld will surely keep us abreast with the latest sex and kink research.