‘The Bear’s’ Italian Berzatto Family Could Use These Tips to Find Joy

On behalf of Italian Americans everywhere, please don’t let the volatile, perennially miserable and explosive Berzatto family depicted in “The Bear” scare you into running for the hills if you find yourself drawn into an Italian famiglia’s orbit. We really are much more fun than they are.

Hulu’s can’t-decide-if-it’s-a-drama-or-a-comedy mega-hit, “The Bear,” has been the talk of the town since it premiered in 2022, and deservedly so. It’s great storytelling and brilliantly acted by the entire cast. But about those Berzattos — who in their right mind would want to hang out with them? Speaking as someone who is 85% Italian (thank you, 23andMe) and brought up in a huge extended family with even friends referred to as aunts, uncles and cousins (“Hey, paisan!”), it truly is about love, laughter, joy and … oh, you get the point.

So, to set the record straight for all us Italians out here, let’s explore how we can teach the Berzattos to heal their wounds, embrace life with enthusiasm — and maybe crack a smile every now and then, shall we?

•Sing your heart out

Berzattos, you need to chill. Turn on a little Dean Martin, some Tony Bennett or Frank Sinatra. Hearing them croon about amore and life being beautiful (“Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling and you’ll sing, ‘vita bella’”) or even Irish songstress Rosemary Clooney promising, “You getta happy in the feets-a when you mambo Italiano” can’t help but put a smile on your face. Your emotions are on overflow? Help them out by singing passionately along with Luciano Pavarotti. The emotional release will have you crying and then laughing that it was so easy to flush them out.

•Hug more, will ya?

The Berzatto family members (and friends) swing a lot. We’re not talking about tossing a hotel room key into a bowl kind of swinging. We’re talking fists. Yes, with Italians, emotions are huge. When they love someone, it’s all-in, “stand back because I’m probably going to suffocate you” kind of love. When they are sad, tears don’t slowly leak; they bawl. And when they get mad, look out; it’s not unusual if they go nuclear. That is what we’ve seen on “The Bear.” But in real life for many Italians, once the shouting is done, it’s like nothing happened, and it is followed by a rib-crushing hug. If that doesn’t happen, do what my nona did when I was a kid that shut me up fast. She’d grab a small amount of skin on my arm and pull and twist at the same time. That could bring a terrorist to
their knees.

•Nicknames

The Berzattos already have the whole nicknames thing down in true Italian form, meaning, everybody’s ends in “ie” or “y.” Like Carmy, Richie, Mikey, etc. But Italians also have sweet pet names for each other. The family on “The Bear” only touches on this by calling Natalie “Sugar.” In my family, for example, we have Measles, Puco and Dillinger, to name a few, that began when they were kids, indicating who a) got sick, b) loved hockey, and c) had a gun and holster from the time he could walk. Those nicknames stuck until they were sitting around the poker table in the sky drinking spritz. Surely the Berzattos can come up with a few terms of endearment.

•Embrace your Italianness

Italians are like Geminis (again, voice of experience) in that they are walking contradictions. They are incredibly strong but equally as vulnerable. They are fun-loving but also quite serious. They are young at heart but old of soul. They love family and friends gathering in the kitchen to eat and gab at decibel-ringing levels, with everyone talking over each other, but surprisingly, they know what each of the dozen conversations are about. They love that noise. It brings them joy to see the joy in others, and it’s what they strive to not only have but to create. Berzattos, embrace that. At least every now and then.