Sarah Hyland on Why Domestic Violence Touches a Personal Nerve

Sarah Hyland has tirelessly used her celebrity to bring awareness to two issues very close to her heart — animal welfare and domestic abuse. On Oct. 30, Variety will honor her at the upcoming Power of Women gala in Los Angeles with the first Variety Courage Award, presented by Purina, which honors both issues simultaneously.

The commendation celebrates Hyland’s outspoken advocacy for survivors of relationship abuse and simultaneously builds on Purina’s Purple Leash Program, which provides resources and support to help domestic violence shelters go pet-friendly so survivors with pets can remain together. “I’m so honored,” says Hyland. “A lot of shelters are not allowing pets and to figure out the logistics of how to get out [of the relationship] and do that, especially with animals, is so important.” She adds that the pet can sometimes provide exactly the emotional support that the survivor needs. However, fewer than 20% of domestic violence shelters in the U.S. currently allow pets.

“A lot of people who have been in an abusive relationship have had pets,” she says. “I wouldn’t have been able to get through a lot of times without my dog. But then, at the same time … animals can be used as a manipulation and used as tactic as well. Their lives are then, therefore, put on the line [to] try to hurt someone through an animal.”

It was just 10 years ago when Hyland obtained a restraining order against her then- boyfriend of four years and “Geek Charming” co-star Matt Prokop. At the time, she got a restraining order that also covered her dog because of threats to him as well. Supporting survivors and increasing awareness of outreach programs available to them are instrumentally important to her.

“For thousands of years now, we didn’t talk about it. The community hasn’t shared enough, I believe,” she says. “And I feel that if we talk about it more, more women — and men and just human beings in general in abusive relationships — will feel more comfortable to be able to talk about it with their loved ones instead of letting their abuser isolate them from everyone, which is the first thing that they do, so that you don’t have that community. So we have to keep talking about it. It’s really important to be able to help those in need.”

The PTSD caused by that abuse lingers long past the end of the relationship and stays “in that abused place of your soul, where you think it’s your fault the whole time and you could have done better, you could have gotten out sooner, you could have told people,” Hyland says. “It’s almost like you don’t wanna talk about it anymore. You want it to be done, and that’s that. I completely understand the dissociation pattern of it. I am very much guilty about it myself… until something happens where I’m triggered, and I didn’t realize that part of myself had been healed. I don’t know if that part [of] any woman will ever be fully healed from that. It’s something that kind of scars her soul a little bit. It’s more so putting love towards that scar instead of hating it and ignoring it.”

Hyland’s “Modern Family” co-star, Julie Bowen, couldn’t be prouder of her former TV daughter for the personal healing and growth she faced since her ordeal a decade ago. “Without adversity, there can be no way to define one’s character and sense of self,” Bowen told Variety. “Sarah’s path has forced her, from a very early age, to take on challenges — both physical and emotional. She has met each moment with determination, grace, and vulnerability. I’m so proud that Variety is recognizing her strength and heart with the
Courage Award.”